A man was out driving on the interstate at top speed in his new Porsche when he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a Porsche!" he thought to himself and sped up even more. Then the reality of the situation hit him, "What the heck am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word,...
A wife asks her husband, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?"
"After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship."
"If I died and you remarried," the wife asks, "would she live in this house?"
"We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house. I guess she would."
Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man.
"How does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and...
Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates.
The Lord spoke to them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie, ... Hell is waiting for you."
To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I...
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot with a sign on the cage that said $50.00, which seemed awfully cheap.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should warn you first that this bird used to live in a house where prostitution took place and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar...
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