The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.

"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.

"I froze to death," says the second.

"That's awful," says the first man.

"How does it feel to freeze to death?"

"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and...